'if you don't know me, you ain't my homay'
We's right, we's wrong, we's white, we's strong, we's Too Cool'
'HEY DONT HIT THE PLAYA, HIT THE GAME G'
'YEAH WERE THE COOLEST GUYS IN THE LITTERBOX'
'WERE TIRED OF ALL THESE SUCKERS AND FRIKETY FRONTUPS THINKING THEIR COOL'
'YOU TELL THEM G'
'LIKE DX, THE BROOD AND THEN THE HARDY BOYZ'
'YEAH JUST ASK ANYONE WE WERE COOL WHILE THEY WERE STILL SUCKING ON THEIR THUMB'
'WE WERE COOL WHILE THEY WERE POOPING YELLOW'
'TOO MUCH IS NO MORE'
'YOU GOT SCOTTY TOO HOTTY AND THE GRANDMASTER SEXAY, WERE THE INNOVATORS'
'THE MASTURB.. OH I MEAN PEROCLATORS OF COOL, LONG LIVE TOO COOL'
Scotty too hotty and Grandmaster on their debut as Too Cool
'Cos Too Cool be the only true superhavyweights in this hood!'
The bigger they are, the more face we have to dance all over
You got my back?"
"We got your back."
"Do you got my back?"
"Yeah, man, I got your back! What's going on?"
"All right, we got business to take care of, all right? The Posse came and tried to make fun of me and my ass tonight."
"The Posse, that's right! I want to tell you guys something, though. Tonight, the Posse's gonna feel Rikishi's ass on top of their face, tonight! You got my back? Let's do this." - Rikishi, GrandMaster Sexay, and Scotty Too Hotty backstage
'What the f**k? You don't dance like us!'
Grandmaster to Jeff Hardy
"Listen man, listen...ever since my homeboy Scotty 2 Hotty went out, he's been injured, I've been looking for somebody to keep Too Cool alive. Now tonight I've got a match with the Right To Censor, but I need a partner. Now I know you're one of the baddest, you're one of the phattest, you're one of the...most humbest, McJumbest guys I've ever seen. So I'm asking you tonight...would you be down with Too Cool? Huh? Huh?" - GrandMaster Sexay to Steve Blackman
"Yo yo yo Uptight Willie! What you need to do is get yourself to the drugstore for a double dose of chill pills! Listen, I know you're not down with Rikishi, and there for a while, I wasn't down with him myself. But now he's chilled, now he's cool. He ain't whack, cause he just got back!" - GrandMaster Sexay to William Regal
Quotes about Too Cool
obtained from toocoolrules.homestead
"These guys are no-nonsense! Whoa, speaking of nonsense..." - Jerry Lawler, first on the Acolytes, then on Too Cool
"Look, they're not intimidated by the Acolytes!"
"Not yet, anyway."
"Maybe they can teach the Acolytes how to dance when they go in all those bars!"
- Jerry Lawler and J.R. as Too Cool dances to ringside, as the unimpressed Acolytes observe
"GrandMaster just got his britches pulled down around his ankles--"
"He's trying to get them back up..."
"That ain't cool!" - J.R. and Jerry Lawler as GrandMaster Sexay somehow gets his pants pulled down, showing off his green underwear
"Speaking of tag teams, the best in history, what about Too Cool?"
"Well... I'll reserve my opinion on those two young jackasses for another time."
"What?! You can look at Mankind and refer to somebody ELSE as a jackass?" - Jerry Lawler and J.R.
"Did he laugh like that when he was a baby?"
"How should I know?" - J.R. on GrandMaster, and Jerry Lawler's usual comment of denial
"Waste some more time! Put your goggles back on! Do a dance! Sing a song!" - J.R. being sarcastic towards Too Cool
"Now that's a blithering idiot, right there; to stop in the middle of the match to put goggles on. A blithering idiot."
"A wha-- a what?"
"A blithering idiot."
"You've got to be cool at all times, J.R." - J.R. on GrandMaster, and Jerry Lawler
"I don't know if Grand Master Sexay is trying to convince himself or Rikishi..." - J.R. as GrandMaster, finding himself the only one left in the ring with Rikishi, tries to convince his dancing buddy not to attack
"Look at this arena! Madison Square Garden... get a shot of THIS! Look at these people!" - Jerry Lawler as GrandMaster, Scotty Too Hotty (the next entrant), and Rikishi decide to dance for the moment, rather than fight
"I don't think they WANT to see a fight; they want to see them get down! Look at this! This is the ROYAL RUMBLE!" -- Jerry Lawler as Too Cool and Rikishi begin dancing
"My my my! What a motley-looking crew this is! This reminds me of the cantina scene from Star Wars... I mean, you've got a couple of Vanilla Ice wanna-bes, you've got a freak of nature and her Mini Me little buddy, you got a bleach-blonde buffoon, and you got a really fat guy in a diaper... this is disgusting!" - Chris Jericho, insulting Too Cool, Chyna, Miss Kitty Kat, Hardcore Holly, and Rikishi Phatu
"Nearly a thousand pounds of meat in that ring!" - Michael Cole as Viscera and Rikishi square off
"You just can't relate to how cool they are because you're so UNcool, Michael Cole!" - Jerry Lawler as Too Cool hits the ring
"All your cool clothes must be in the wash, huh?" - Jerry Lawler to Michael Cole as Too Cool fights in the ring
"Bustin' a move's okay; I just hope he doesn't play the trouser trumpet! We'd all be knocked out!" - Jerry Lawler as Too Cool and Rikishi Phatu get ready to dance
"Uh-oh... Scotty's in trouble now; he's lost his hat!" -- Jerry Lawler
"Well, Too Cool thought they had a victory in hand until five-hundred-pound Viscera sat on the head of GrandMaster Sexay!" - Jerry Lawler recapping the events of RAW
"J.R., one time for me... get up and dance!"
"Would you really like me to bust a move?"
"Would I? Either that, or spontaneously combust." - Jerry Lawler and J.R. as Too Cool makes their entrance
"No grandchildren for the King!" - J.R. as GrandMaster Sexay takes a ballshot on the top rope
"Senton bomb over the top rope caught Christopher!"
"Caught who? Now wait a minute--"
"Sorry... GrandMaster Sexay..."
"Yeah, don't pull a Buh Buh Ray Douglas and have a speech impediment. You HAVE a speech impediment, you know that?"
"No I don't."
"Yes you do; it's your foot! Keep it out of your mouth!" - Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
(Brian "GrandMaster Sexay" Christopher yells something unintelligible in the ring as he beats on Jeff Hardy)
Michael Cole: "What did he say?"
Jerry Lawler: "Um... uh... pay attention, Michael!"
Michael Cole: "I figured you could translate for me."
"Scott Taylor and Brian Christopher having a serious identity crisis here."
"What do you mean, identity crisis?"
"I'm sorry; GrandMaster Sexay and Scotty Too Hotty." - Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
"You just can't relate to anybody that's cool, Michael." - Jerry Lawler
"Hey, why is GrandMaster Sexay wearing that do rag, King?"
"What do you mean? Get with it, Michael! This is 1999, man!"
"He's got as much hair as you do." - Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler
"GrandMaster Sexay, flying through the air with the greatest of ease!" - a delighted Jerry Lawler as the winning move from Too Cool is replayed
"Powerbomb by GrandMaster there, and his rather jackass-like partner, Scotty Too Hotty!" - J.R.
"Scotty Too Hotty... he's cool! You just don't get it, Michael, because you're not cool."
"If these two are cool, I don't want to be cool, and here comes--"
"Don't worry about it, Michael, because you're not cool."
"--GrandMaster Sexy, Brian Christopher." -- Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole as Too Cool square off against the Hardy Boyz
" The Posse's chestnuts may be roasting on an open fire here tonight!" - J.R. as the Mean Street Posse find themselves in the ring against Too Cool and Rikishi Phatu
"I would've thought GrandMaster Sexay would have KNOWN better than this!" - Jerry Lawler as GrandMaster takes on X-Pac in the ring
"What the hell is that?" - Stephanie McMahon as Scotty Too Hotty does the worm on Saturn
"Be careful of Scotty's hair! It's on Viagra!" - Jerry Lawler
"Too Cool's got quite the buddy in Rikishi, who's well over four hundred pounds..." "I think Macy's wants him to be a float in next year's parade!" - J.R. and Jerry Lawler
(Just after a Too Cool dance club segment ends, cameras show Lawler attempting to bust a move while sitting at the announce table. Michael Cole is giving him a strange look.)
Jerry Lawler: "Oh yeah... whoohoo, can those guys dance or what?"
Michael Cole: "Well King, it's obvious Grandmaster Sexay ISN'T a chip off the old block!"
"Too Fools... how about Two Jackasses?"
"Hey hey hey.." - J.R. and Jerry Lawler as Too Cool enter the ring; J.R. is referring to a "Too Fools" sign in the crowd
"As redneck as you are, I'm surprised--"
"As what? Wait a minute; what did you say?"
"I'm surprised that you claim a son like GrandMaster Sexay!"
"YOU, J.R., have called someone a redneck!" - J.R. and Jerry Lawler as Too Cool moonwalks to the ring
"You know what comes now!"
"Yes! The caterpillar!"
"The CENTIPEDE, King!"
"Oh... well... centipede, caterpillar, same thing!" - Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler as Scotty 2 Hotty does the worm
"Scotty 2 Hotty flattened like a pancake by the five-hundred-pound Viscera!" - Michael Cole
"There he is, GrandMaster... that's how he is, too sexy! Ha-- oh no..." - Jerry Lawler as GrandMaster Sexay does a big powerbomb on Matt Hardy from the apron, then gets clobbered by an aerial Christian
"Uh-oh; here we go, J.R.! C'mon, get pumped, just a little bit!"
"The whole world wants to know what's going on at the hospital; we all want to know--"
"GRAND... MASTER... SEXAY. THIS is what the world's excited about; right here."
"Well, it doesn't sound like they are." - Jerry Lawler and J.R.
"Richmond, Virginia. What I would like to do for you tonight, if you would allow me to, is I, Kurt Angle, Olympic champion, American hero, a man of intensity, integrity, and intelligence, I could be your honorary hometown hero!"
"Oh, if I had a son I'd want him to grow up to be just like Kurt Angle. Wouldn't you, Michael?"
"Yours turned out to be a GrandMaster."
"What?" -- Kurt Angle, Jerry Lawler, and Michael Cole
"What poor schmuck is this? WHAT?! It's GrandMaster Sexay... I thought he was luckier than this!" - Jerry Lawler as his son is revealed to be Rumble entrant #2
"Some say he got a bad break at birth, but that's only a rumor!" - J.R., responding to Jerry Lawler's comme